October 22nd, 1997 to October 28th, 1997

Writing Abilities

Disabled Gays and Lesbians 'Stare Back'

by Kathleen Rose Winter

Kenny Fries, an award-winning poet, is the editor of an international anthology, Staring Back: The disability experience from the inside out. This anthology includes the work of 25 persons with disabilities and their slant on life. Almost one half of the contributors are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Susan Nussbaum, a Chicago actor and writer, is a part of that half. Her piece "Mishuganismo" discusses her experiences as a woman with a disability, and as a Jewish woman with a "bad case of "mishuganismo" (when a Jewish person "goes crazy for" a Latin person or when a Latin person feels the same way for a Jewish person).

Susan first performed this one-woman piece in 1991 at the Remains Theater in Chicago and later at the Matrix Theater in Los Angeles. (As a result of the Los Angeles performance, Fries decided that "Mishuganismo" would be a part of this anthology). She has been a writer and an actor for almost 15 years. Her writing increased when she discovered that there were few significant acting roles for people who have a disability and who use wheelchairs. As a result, she would have to write her own roles.

Being a part of this anthology is important for Susan. She told Outlines that she sees this book as a much-needed first anthology of work, which represents the cultural minority of people with disabilities.

Nussbaum has worked in the disability rights movement for 20 years. She began this work at Access Living (a Center for Independent Living). She says that she began working in this civil-rights movement because it was a "matter of survival."

Nussbaum explains that with any kind of minority "anything that you experience is your fault, until you begin to politicize it. ... Once that minority's experience is politicized, the fault is no longer that of the minority's but instead the society; the society is what needs to change." As a result of this realization, "the world changes and that group begins to feel a sense of community, a sense of worth, and a culture; you belong to a group with it's own unique sense of pride and humor." The group no longer looks to the majority culture to define them, but instead begins to define themselves. These definitions allow the individual members of that minority to be "OK" again, to be "you" again; one has options and choices in life again.

Even though Nussbaum does not consider her work as her art, it is definitely an art. Her piece "Mishuganismo" is hilarious when performed, and that humor remains on the written page. She shows the everyday, sometimes ridiculous things that happen to a person when a "love jones" overwhelms them. She manages to include, with that universal experience, the specific things that a woman with a disability must consider in her everyday life, in order to live, love, and work in the world. Nussbaum also takes the intensity of an activist (and their "activism") and relays the sometimes ironic humor of civil-rights work, without diminishing the real fear that comes with fighting for one's civil rights. She shows the various "battles" people fight while adding the humorous analysis of the entire "war."

Susan Nussbaum will read her piece Monday, Oct. 27, 7 p.m. at Unabridged Books, 3251 N. Broadway, (773) 883-9119. Michael Ervin (another respected writer in the community) and Fries will also read from their work. This anthology is an important part of all communities. It is important for people without disabilities to read these works. The stories in this anthology show that the human experience is sometimes a common experience, with only different versions to tell.

Kathleen Rose Winter, an activist on disability issues, also writes a monthly column for Outlines and BLACKlines.

Nicole Conn: From 'Claire' to 'Angels'

by Andrea L.T. Peterson

Since her Claire of the Moon hit the big screen a few years back, Nicole Conn hasn't exactly been sitting still. First there was Moments: The Making of Claire of the Moon (the first-of-its-kind, best-selling lesbian documentary), then there was the novelization of the film, then Passion's Shadow, now, it's Angel Wings: a Love Story. "What most people don't realize," says Conn about her body of work to date, "is that almost all of it is straight. I wrote Claire because it's my story," she adds.

The lesbian community-or more accurately communities- can be terribly possessive. There seems to be this odd sense of ownership of its celebrities: Holly Near announces she's bisexual and the lesbian world goes crazy; JoAnn Loulan confirms her heterosexual romance, and she's a traitor-betraying every (other) lesbian on the face of the earth. Katherine Forrest hops over to Putnam and she becomes one of "them," no longer one of us. Some might feel the same way about Conn, whose newest novel, Angel Wings, is primarily a heterosexual love story, but such feelings are unfounded and premature.

About Forrest, in particular, says Conn, "she is a saint-I call her St. Forrest of the Trees. She helps so many writers, giving, giving and giving. Not only to Naiad [where she was on staff as editor and where she actually edited Conn's Claire of the Moon]. It's time," she says, that Forrest gets the recognition she deserves. The lesbian community "may have lost an editor, but the world has gained more of this very important and wonderful writer."

Angel Wings is primarily a heterosexual love story-and a good one-but the lesbian subplot is so well-developed and so solid that it rivals the primary story line. It certainly permeates and colors it. Conn feels like so many private-citizens-made-public, her "lesbian identity" is her own business. But Conn has strong feelings about writers going mainstream. "It has little to do with betraying of their own identities-and it has even less to do with betraying their lesbian readership."

It's about reaching a wider audience-possibly touching the lives of women who haven't yet become aware of their own lesbian identities; better financial arrangements-cash advances, for example, that a writer can actually live on while writing the contracted work; and other not so small benefits-like a 20 or 30 city book tour with all of the fringe benefits and exposure in the largest bookstore chains in the country. However, Conn is quick to praise the treatment of writers by the lesbian presses. "When touring with Barbara Grier of Naiad Press," she says, "I was treated like her daughter, like a queen, in fact. I felt safe, seen, and appreciated. In the big houses, unless you are Grisham or Crichton, you are essentially non-existent."

Passion's Shadow, Conn's second novel-which she actually wrote first-she says has just now made it to the tops ten lists in gay and lesbian bookstores. A mainstream book, lesbians are just now discovering the dramatic story that deals first with intense personal conflict and second with lesbian issues. "It's the story of a strong female protagonist first, then a lesbian romance" says Conn who wrote it when she "first got sober."

Cynara is a short film that is loosely based on the work she considers her most important. "Not because it's lesbian, but because it's about trying to raise $5 million to do a black and white lesbian Wuthering Heights." Making such a film is one of her most challenging personal career goals. Generally, lesbians finance their own films. Clearly there are times when it just isn't possible.

Angel Wings, she says, was supposed to be a lesbian story-according to the contract she had with her publisher to write two lesbian books. But it didn't turn out that way. She was asked why she couldn't just make Matthew a lesbian. Her characters, she explains, "come as they are. They become living, breathing [entities] as I write them." When she tries to alter them, she says they "slap her back into shape."

Besides, just changing names and pronouns wouldn't cut it. The story line wouldn't make sense, the issues would be irrelevant, and the book simply wouldn't be worth reading. Then it would be just another lesbian love story. As it is, it is the story of personal struggles with identity and-at the risk of sounding corny-destiny.

Her latest project is another work that Conn found the need to write because of where she is in her own life. As so many lesbians are, Conn has always been a "cynical child of divorce ... a jaded hothead." Then came her current love. "I am so madly in love [with her]," says Conn, "I want to get married." She has come to realize that this kind of love is a "gift" and marriage is her way of showing the world "that this kind of love is possible." The couple plans to wed next year, and Conn's upcoming work illustrates that "a cynic can be cured by romance!"

With her popularity and visibility in the lesbian community, her mainstream agents and publishers have found it challenging to market her to "middle America." How do you sell such an out lesbian to K-Mart? Could she be marketed as "bisexual," she was asked. "No," Conn responded emphatically. She can't see hiding her lesbian identity. Contemplating it made her "schizophrenic" -and sent her back "to my first shame-based moments of coming out." She has always seen herself as a woman first. She has been "emotionally drawn to men," but is clear that she is "totally into women 1,000 percent-very lesbian identified." She just sees her self as "an artist who wants to write her own truth regardless of sexuality. There are so many other parts of us ...so much more universality to who we are than just the sex 'thang.'

Her work as director of From 100 to Infinity, a documentary profiling 100 gay, lesbian, bi and heterosexual leaders (Sappho, Alexander the Great, Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin, Bessie Smith, Harvey Milk, Melissa Etheridge, Martina, Greg Louganis, RuPaul, as well as supporters like Judith Light and Rosanne) made clear her inability to hide or compromise her own sexual identity. These role models, says the lesbian filmmaker, "are an alternative to-and hopefully part of the solution to the problem of-the staggering gay and lesbian teen suicide rates."

Growing up, Conn had only one role model, Martina Navratilova. "I didn't even know she was a lesbian, but the way she played tennis and went for every shot became a metaphor for me on how to live life." This documentary is intended to give kids dozens of role models-role models they can respect and role models whose sexual orientation is no secret.

Feeling "incredibly blessed" to be one of the few who can make her own "dreams come true," Conn is thrilled that Sela Ward is considering the part of Lindsay [Passion's Shadow] for the big screen, and Helen Shaver [who caught the attention of every lesbian in America in Desert Hearts] is attached to direct one of Conn's scripts. As she waits for the latest developments on her most recent projects, Conn, who believes she is "the luckiest lesbian alive," is busy at work on From 100 to Infinity-which should be completed by year's end. It will be available free to schools throughout the country. (Call Joe Marks at 310-274-5545.)

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