Suburban Connections

Naperville

by Sarah Hendershot

Naperville is a beautiful city. Downtown, families stroll along the river feeding ducks, children play in the grass, couples dine at the very-northern-California restaurants, and teenagers hang out in front of a cafe with a rainbow sticker prominently displayed in its front window. Everyone seems at ease and unsuspicious. There is no litter, and aside from a condensed crowd of "alternative" straight teenagers fondling each other, everyone is quiet and polite.

A couple miles away, in the newer part of town, flanked by auto dealerships and freeways, the DuPage Unitarian Universalist Church sits nestled in the woods. This church is becoming something of a gay Mecca.

Stonewall, Naperville's three-and-a-half-year-old gay and lesbian organization, is described as a "free self-help support group" by Bill Stevens, a member and recruiter. It was founded by psychotherapist Andrea Goudy, who facilitated the weekly meetings until five months ago, when Stonewall moved from its original location in a mental health facility to its current home at the DuPage Unitarian Church. The group is now self-moderated and grows larger every week. Stevens says there was undoubtedly some stigmatism attached to meeting at a mental health facility. "People are more open to coming [to meetings] at church."

Stonewall meets each Tuesday night. A recent meeting had 37 people in attendance, and Stevens says that at least two new people come each week, sometimes as many as six. The group represents a wide range of ages and is split evenly between men and women. The meetings are free flowing, operating almost as group therapy. But afterwards, the entire group caravans to a nearby restaurant, literally taking it over. One long table stretches from one end of the restaurant to the other, loaded with gays and lesbians from Naperville, Wheaton, Bolingbrook, Downers Grover, and Lisle.

One particularly outgoing member has been in Naperville for 19 years and in one relationship for the past 27 years. In a restaurant packed with out and loud gays and lesbians, his need for anonymity seemed surprising. Stevens, speaking of life in Naperville, shed some light. "Out here we live in the front lines, the front trenches. On Halsted there is that pocket where gays can hold hands together. At Fox Valley Mall in Aurora just walking too close draws attention."

Stonewall has "extra-curricular" activities as well. A Stonewall contingent marched in this year's AIDS Walk and Gay & Lesbian Pride Parade. The group hosts dances, parties, video nights, camping trips, and outings to Navy Pier and Northalsted Market Days, and a Stonewall web site is being discussed.

The DuPage Unitarian Church is now also home to For Women Only. Three years ago, Dr. Julie Levering, a chiropractor in Bolingbrook, with her partner Lisa Carpenter-Levering, began For Women Only. Since other women's groups meet predominantly in the northwest suburbs, southwest lesbians were subjected to very long commutes. For Women Only is considered by some to serve a younger, less conservative group of women, but the group itself reflects women of all ages. A recent meeting had 30 in attendance, and the group sees as many as 50. The first meetings were composed mostly of Levering's clients and were held in her office building.

Unlike Stonewall, For Women Only is mostly social. Upcoming events include a casino night, hayride, laser tag, formation of a cycling club, dances, a Christmas party, and a rafting/camping trip. The group is highly amiable, discussing sports leagues and softball parties, and sharing resources of all sorts and agreeing to bring canned goods to the next meeting to be given to a needy Naperville family. After the meeting is over, an all-female caravan moves on to a nearby restaurant for more socializing.

Sharon Josefson, a dietician, has lived in Naperville for five years. She is originally from Elk Grove Village. A member of For Women Only, she also attends Congressional Church in downtown Naperville, which, with her urging, has an "open and affirming" policy (and a rainbow sticker on the door) meant to welcome gays. Prior to coming out, she was in college and her mother, Dorothy Royce, came out to her. Both women are very active in the gay community. Josefson, with her partner, began Not Yet Parents, an offshoot of Rainbow Families. The group is only two months old, but already has 35 members. The next meeting is Oct. 19. Royce, on the same day, will speak to Chicago 35, a lesbian social organization, about the American Medical Association's attempts to cure her of homosexuality.

"I think [Naperville] is heaven on earth. [There is] no crime to speak of. I can go for a walk at three in the morning," says Ann Newman, a resident of Naperville for the past five years. She attends WOWS [Women of the Western Suburbs] and Stonewall meetings, considering them an alternative to the bar scene. Newman grew up in Wheaton and has worked as a realtor in Naperville for the past 10 years. "It was coming back home for me. I felt welcomed."

"Naperville has an international reputation as a big town for transferees because of the number of global, multi-national companies and the quality of public schools. Well guess what? The gays and lesbians come [to Naperville too]. ... We've been able to draw a fairly large number of gay people into the area. The quality of life here is just so wonderful," she said.

Newman describes the population of Naperville as highly educated and with low incidence of homophobia. "Upper middle class, well educated on the whole, [with] very little active discrimination," she said.

As a realtor Newman is very aware that there are no "gay pockets" in Naperville where gays are living. She likes it that way. "We need to keep convincing people that we're just like them," she explains. Gay homebuyers have the same needs and concerns as straight buyers. When buying a home, gays and straights alike are concerned about transportation, schools, proximity to a grocery store and a dry cleaner, and prices of houses. Newman says gays are not seeking a gay ghetto.

Newman says that Naperville has only a minor gang problem and that the city works hard to keep kids busy. It can be "pouring rain and 40 degrees and you drive around town and every soccer field is full," she remarked. The few that do cause trouble are a result of "too much money, too much free time, and a car." Still, these kids are out "mailbox bashing," not gay bashing. The city has a great park district, superb public schools and is "really geared up for families. ... Naperville is for and about families," she said.

Frank F. Owen, an attorney who lives and works in Naperville, recalls the difficulty his daughter encountered in junior high. Her classmates used to tease her for having a gay father, but now, says Owen, the teasing has subsided. She is in high school and has learned to be more selective in who she confides. His daughter has always been accepting of him. The social atmosphere of Naperville is also accepting. His neighbors have never taken issue with his being gay. "Either it didn't matter so they never brought it up or they were so naive or stupid that they didn't get it. It's absolutely irrelevant to them," Owen says of his neighbors. He and his partner live together and have had most of the neighbors over for parties. Of Naperville's Republican politics, he says, ""I don't think the gay community is acknowledged [but] it's as good as anywhere else."

Kathe Flood has lived with her partner of eight years and their two children in Naperville for two years. They left Berwyn for Naperville solely because of the quality of the public schools in Naperville. "Naperville is "a very child friendly city ... and it's conservative," says Flood. As far as being a lesbian couple with children in this conservative town, she says there has been "no trouble. We're very out people. They have very good manners. Even if they were shocked they'd have good manners." Such good manners that when Flood takes her four and six year olds to the park, she often has the following exchange with the other mothers. They typically ask, "What does your husband do?" Flood answers, "I'm gay. My lover is a doctor. What does your husband do?" Her answer, so far, has been taken in stride very comfortably.

Still, Flood says she has some concern about whether her children will have trouble in school as they get older and as having lesbian moms becomes more of an issue. She is considering joining a local organization called the Diversified Parents Association. Although this organization deals with racial issues, specifically that many feel teachers are not reflective of the racial diversity of the student body, she hopes perhaps that they will be open to expanding their direction to include gays. "There is tolerance, but our children, our families deserve to be nurtured. There's tolerance, but we hope to move beyond that," says Flood.

At this point, her children "know that most families are mom and dad," but that theirs' isn't. "The meaning attached to it will come later," says Flood. Flood's family is in Rainbow Families, which now boasts 102 families.

As a licensed clinical social worker, Flood has given much thought to the possible ramifications of having one adopted child and the other a product of anonymous donor insemination. "Everyone has worries for their children about that. We have talked about what does a dad mean. We think about the relationships we had with our dads and we want [the kids] to have that." Flood's father and her and her partner's nine brothers are very close to their children. "We want to make sure there are men in our children's lives. That is very important to us. ... We're very aware and want to be very sensitive to their needs. ... Many adopted people don't have an issue. Others, it controls their whole life."

In general, Flood says living in Naperville is like living anywhere. "You get to know your neighbors, you mow the lawn ... people get to know you and evaluate you for what you are."

Though considered by all highly conservative, Naperville is home to Lucent Technologies, an offshoot of AT&T that is known for its progressiveness on gay and lesbian issues. On Jan. 1, Lucent will begin offering medical benefits to the partners of its gay and lesbian employees. Lucent formed out of AT&T just one year ago, and the gay and lesbian employees that left AT&T for Lucent are being well rewarded. Although AT&T is also progressive-sexual orientation has been included in its non-discrimination policy for the past 20 years-the company will not be following Lucent's lead by offering medical benefits to the partners of its employees in January.

A resident of Wheaton, Bill Stevens has worked for AT&T, and now Lucent, for 15 years. He is a member of Stonewall and Equal!, Lucent's gay employee organization. Equal! boasts nearly 100 local members, and annual conventions of Lucent's nationwide Equal! chapters have drawn as many as 1,000. Representatives from Equal! speak at Lucent's monthly diversity programs and during Pride month, Equal! posts banners in Lucent's lobby. Equal! is seven years old.

Lucent's liberal stance on gay issues has not been received well by all. On Oct. 1, The Naperville Sun printed a letter to the editor that addressed Lucent's intention of expanding medical benefits to the partners of gay employees. The letter began: "August 6, 1997 was a sad day for family, for Lucent Technologies and for our country. ... Part of that new plan included medical benefits for employees in 'same-sex domestic partnerships.' ... By buckling to homosexual lobbyists and to be politically correct in the '90s, Lucent Technologies added to the destruction of the already decaying fabric of our society." Shirley K. Canniff, "spouse of a Lucent employee," signed the letter.

Matt Verscheure, another member of Stonewall, was outraged and is writing, with Stevens, a letter to the Sun in response.

Lucent Media Relations Director Bob Jerich called the letter "unfortunate. ... We're committed to providing a workplace free from discrimination ... 100% absolutely, totally committed to that. Offering domestic-partner benefits is in keeping with Lucent Technologies' commitment ... to offering an open, supportive environment. ... In order to remain competitive we need to offer the best benefit package in order to attract the best talent."

Jerich does not think Naperville's reputation as a very conservative town is deserved considering how accepting Naperville is of being home to such a progressive company. There are 10,000 Lucent employees in the Lisle/Naperville area. "We work right here in Naperville, we live right here in Naperville, and we prosper right here in Naperville."

Although Lucent experiences minor incidents one or two times a year, such as the removal of Equal! posters, Stevens says, "I think the culture has really changed [because] of the number of years this has been around." He describes Lucent as an international village, and credits its high-tech nature and progressive politics.

Politics in Naperville
"DuPage County is Republican land," says realtor Ann Newman. Naperville has no gay legislation and its politicians generally vote against measures that serve to protect or benefit gays and lesbians.

U.S. Rep. Harris Fawell, R-13th, voted against the Human Rights Campaign's position on most issues. He scored a 33 out of 100, supporting AIDS training for federal workers and the adoption of a written policy for congressional offices that would indicate that sexual orientation is not a factor in employment decisions. However, he voted against hospital visitation rights for gay partners and against health benefits for domestic partners. He voted against same-sex marriages and against ENDA, the employment non-discrimination act, which if passed would serve to prohibit anti-gay discrimination in the workplace.

Republican State Sen. Mary Lou Cowlishaw voted to ban same-sex marriage and she voted against the gay and lesbian rights bill.

Naperville's mayor of the past three years is A. George Pradel, a.k.a. Officer Friendly. He told Outlines that in his administration "We are very open in our hiring process. It's a great community. The people are very friendly and kind and open to everyone. It's not a community that discriminates against people. ... The spirit I see out here is that Naperville is a very friendly community."

Naperville is the third largest city in Illinois, following Chicago and Rockford. The mayor says that his administration is currently looking into domestic partnership for Naperville. "Oak Park and Chicago have done it. ... We're constantly looking into new things. We certainly have to look at it in an open-minded situation."

As gay-rights issues such as domestic partnership begin to emerge, Mayor Pradel says, "We want to be right there when it does."

Council members are Mary Ellingson, Kevin Gallaher, Douglas P. Krause, Samuel T. Macrane, Peg Price, John H. Rosanova, James L. Siddall, and Gary von Behren.

-Sarah Hendershot

Resources

Stonewall (708) 220-6682

For Women only (630) 759-5963/778-6468

Women of the Western Suburbs (847) 622-4327

West Suburban gay Association (630) 512-0100

RAINBOW FAMILIES (630) 585-3920

NOT YET PARENTS (630) 585-3920

DUPAGE Unitarian Ch. (630) 505-9408

DuPage Youth Pride Drop In Center

(630) 415-2053

EQUAL! at Lucent (630) 224-5324

Chicago Area Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce 1-888-GL-CHAMBER

DEMOGRAPHICS

72.4 Square km.

101,163 Population

92.6% White

2.1% Black

4.8% Asian

1.8% Hispanic

6.3% Foreign born

50.8% Women

$60,979 Median household income

16.8% Makes $100,000 or more

1.5% In poverty

Send us your feedback!

Site development donated by Benchmark Online Productions.
Web space provided by SUBA.